Fact about Domestic violence

..Talking about domestic violence, what do you understand about domestic violence? According to Wikipedia. Domestic violence can be express as violence or other abuse in a domestic setting, such as in marriage or cohabitation.
Domestic violence is not just physical violence alone. Domestic violence is any behavior  gaining power and control over a spouse, partner, girl/boyfriend or intimate family member

MAJOR CAUSES OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

In most cases abusers may feel this need to control their partner because of low self-esteem, extreme jealousy, difficulties in regulating anger and other strong emotions, or in rear cases where they feel inferior to the other partner in education and socialeconomic background.

Let focus on Domestic violence in marriages for now. 

One can't really understand that mixed feelings a woman get when her man beat her up, for whatever reason he may have, and thoughts spinning through her head, like, " should I stay or go" most especially when beautiful and handsome innocent kids are involved, and the fire of love still burning wild in them

         She get lost in thought in confusion, where have I gone wrong ? What am I not doing right? " Behind every action of a man, there is always a reason. Beating her up or being excessively aggressive could be as a result of his childhood, Trauma in one way or the other. Sometimes he might not understand what and why he does certain things. All this fall back on Mental disorder, it psychological, no drugs can treat him, some will suggest anxiety pills, but that will only make things complicated. He will need to see a psychotherapist to undergo a psycho therapy for at least six month. Majority of men who literally need this therapy will never admit they do.
        
Shocking fact: Most men who domestically abuse their wives love them than you can ever imagine... Surprised? Yes they do.
As a victim, don't ever think praying can solve all this, whatever is psychological, requires physical action, not spiritual let be practical pls. He can only hold back for a while.
Have you ever wonder why victims stay back in an abusive relationship?
Most  victims hope the abuser will change. After all, there are good times between episodes of abuse. There are reasons why the person loves or once loved the abuser, and often children are involved. They may not see that the whole person is the problem. Howeer victims also stay for the following reasons:


Finances.


Nowhere else to live.


No outside emotional support.


Childcare concerns.


Taking the blame for the abuser.


Denying, minimizing, and rationalizing the abuse.


Low self-esteem and confidence.


They love the abuser.


If you’re a victim and feel insecure about confiding in someone, your self-esteem and confident have been undermined.I think it high time you speak up and put your fear behind because life is too short to be unhappy. An abuser uses tactics to isolate you from friends and loved ones by criticizing them and making remarks designed to force you take sides. You’re either for them or against them. If the abuser feels slighted, then you have to take his or her side, or you’re befriending the enemy. This is designed to increase control over you and your dependence upon them. For the sake of you and your kids, you need to act. Most DV always result to homicide, or suicide. No two ways about, if he happens to be the victim no one will listen to your own side of the story, trust me. Considering the kids
Abuse destroy a child's view of the world as a safe place. some of the distorted messages children might learn from living with you as their mother. They could also learn that you have to deal with your problems by yourself, adults don't keep their promises, bad things happen no matter how hard they try to be good, and life is not fair. In contrast, children who grow up with encouragement, fairness, and safety can approach life with enthusiasm and embrace new opportunities. Give it a deep thought.


Steps You Can Take


It’s essential to build outside resources and talk about what’s going on in your relationship. A professional is the best person, because you can build your self-esteem and learn how to help yourself without feeling judged or rushed into taking action. If you can’t afford private individual therapy, find an experience mother who can understand you better, elderly to be precised, learn all you can from books and online resources, join online forums. Do this even if it means keeping a secret. You’re entitled to your privacy.


Some of us blame victims involved in domestic violence, it could be you or me, if necessary measures are not taken, mostimes we see signs and overlook them, most especially when there are heavy pressure here and there to settle down, don't get carried away, by beauty, or been materialistic, what is worth waiting for is Worth waiting for. Take your time, and always put God first.
To avoid getting involved with an abuser when you’re dating, beware of someone who:

befoer dating, beware of someone who:


Insists on having his or her way and won’t compromise.


Has outbursts of anger.


Is rude to others.


Criticizes you or your family.


Is jealous or possessive.


Is paranoid.


Threatens you.


Be wise!!!
Thanks
Moon Ruona Amreta

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